Whoa... its been a while

OK... so apparently I majorly suck at this whole blogging thing.  Here's what happened:  I was all into the training, I even got my husband into it.  We were doing great for the first month and then something happened.  Something uber frustrating and a major setback: I had an asthma attack.

Now, I've always had exercise induced asthma, but it was always well controlled with an inhaler and I had even gotten to the point in my life that I thought maybe, just maybe, I had outgrown it.  I was doing great for the first month and didn't use an inhaler.  On the 2nd run of week four I was running by myself and for the first time in my training had to stop going and literally sit down on the curb.  I couldn't catch my breath.

The voice in my head went something like this:  "I can't breathe... must stop running... ok, i'm walking and i still can't breath... must sit down.... ok, sitting and i still can't breathe... breathe.... breathe... come on!  just take a breath!... oh my god, i can't breathe... the world is going black... i'm going to pass out... holy crap... who will find me?"  As you can see, my asthma attack was made worse by an anxiety attack on top of it.

Eventually I realized what I was doing to myself, laid down on some random person's front lawn, and concentrated on a cloud.  I was able to talk myself down and eventually get my breathing back on track.  It was a very scary moment for me, but I got through it.  I walked the rest of the way home and immediately set up an appointment to see my doctor to get a new inhaler.

Once I got the inhaler I tried getting back on track with my training, but still couldn't seem to get my asthma under control.  The inhaler made me feel sick and cough while I was running, so eventually I just gave up.  If I ran without the inhaler I would have an asthma attack; if I took the inhaler, my lungs hurt and I would cough during and for days after my run.  It was a lose-lose situation.  I admitted defeat and called it quits.

Fast forward to December.  My friends and I were out to dinner and one of them said to me "hey, we're thinking of starting a work out group, want to join?"

"UGH!"  I thought.  Want to?, yes; will i fail again? probably.  If you know me, you know that I HATE to lose.  I hate failure.  This, and my attention to detail, are two things that make me a good lawyer.  I was nervous about committing to something and failing at it again.  But, despite my fears, I said yes.  The thing that convinced me was that all 3 of us were in the same positions: we all hate working out, are completely out of shape, and enjoy time spent with eachother.

The next week my friend, Lynn, and I went to Anytime Fitness and got a membership (our other friend, Anna, already had a membership).  Come New Years day we started working out.  Anna goes every day - she walks on the treadmill at a crazy incline of 15.  Lynn goes when she is available (I really dont' know if she has a set schedule) and she does a run/walk on the treadmill.  I go every other day and I go 3 miles on the treadmill, whether I am running or walking doesn't matter, I just have the goal of 3 miles each time.  I have found this to be a great plan!  It has now been 2 weeks and I have actually started looking forward to my workouts!  Having friends who will hold me accountable is a BIG help.  Also, not focusing on time or how much I run has helped me keep my asthma under control.  I listen to my body and can sense when my lungs can take no more of the running.  I hope to someday be able to run a race in its entirety - to be able to be free of asthma symptoms, but that day is not here.... yet.

I'm feeling better about myself and enjoying some good quality time with friends - at the gym of all places!

My journey, up until now.

First, a little about me.  I'm Becca.  I'm a 26-year-old professional in Mankato, MN.  I used to be a dancer.  It pains me to put "used to be" as it was, at one time, a very defining characteristic.  When I was a senior in high school I dislocated my right hip while dancing and it really put a damper on my dancing. 

Me (right) as a senior in high school at a dance competition

When I went off to college (UW-Eau Claire - go Blugolds!) I was too caught up in my classes and friends to consider working out.  I came up with every excuse in the book to avoid it.  I really, really hated working out.  All my life as a dancer working out never felt like a work out, it was built-in to doing what I loved - dancing.  So when the dancing ended and the boring, treadmill working out should have begun, I hated the idea of exercise.  If you know anything about the Eau Claire campus, you know that it has a HUGE hill from the academic buildings to the dorms.  I considered my walk up the hill every day my work out and did nothing more. 

My parents and me during my senior year of college

Law school only gave me more and better excuses to avoid working out.  Too much reading, studying, and volunteering to improve my resume.  My one roommate was a marathon-er and my other roommate played tennis for a local rec league.  I, in the meantime, supported them by complimenting their motivation and admiring their abilities from the comfort of my couch.  I've never really been overweight and, actually, lost weight while in law school due to the stress, so I never felt that I needed to work out.  Afterall, if my weight is within the normal range, I'm healthy, right?!?  Wrong.  I ate crap food and never gave my body exercise.  It only got worse after I graduated and started working.  I go to work, down a Mountain Dew and pop tart for breakfast, eat a quick lunch and have a Coke in the afternoon.  Then I'd go home, eat a good dinner with my husband (who, by the way, is the most supportive person I know and my best friend), watch a little TV and go to bed. 

My husband, Dave, and me at my Minnesota Bar swearing-in ceremony

What has changed, you ask? Well, I'm hoping that today will be my turning point.  I woke up late this morning.  I was supposed to drive to Kasson to meet up with my parents at our old church to celebrate my piano teacher's retirement but I woke up too late to go.  Ooops.  I talked to my mom who said she was disappointed that I didn't show.  I felt like crap.  I then went back to bed, opened my novel, and read in bed until noon.  As I got up again I felt like crap both because of missing the morning with my parents and because I was still in my pj's and had accomplished nothing - zero - today.  Granted, I love a good day in bed reading a novel every once in a while, but for some reason today really bothered me.  I felt like a slob and a disappointment.  I hate feeling that way.  So, after my typical facebook checks, I found myself on my friend Ann's blog about her journey over the last year or so.  Her journey has been one with ups and downs, but in the end she has run over 12 5k's, 1 10k (i think, maybe more?), and 1 half marathon.  Simply put: she.is.amazing.  If you haven't read her blog, you should check it out here.

I decided today is going to be different.  I would make healthy changes and finally get myself back into shape.  After browsing the web for training programs, I decided on the Couch to 5k program and started my journey.  I downloaded the Couch to 5k app onto my iPod touch, told my husband I was going for a run, and started out...